Insanity

in·san·i·ty (n) \in-ˈsa-nə-tē\ -- Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

 

There are a lot of things I don’t understand about the CPA exam: why there is a time frame after which parts expire, why I can’t see my incorrect answers after my results are released, what the magical study method is that will allow me to pass this test…

I sat for BEC this past Friday. I do not have my results yet. I am both terrified and excited to get said results as, per usual, I have no idea if I passed or failed. My intuition track record is not so great, as I have taken this test more times than I care to admit and have always had the same general range of feelings about it. How many times can a person do something before going completely bonkers? Did I change my study method? Yes. Did I commit the time? Yes. Did I blah, blah, blah do every other single little thing that I could possibly think of? YES! Did I pass this test? I sure as hell hope so. (Can I say “hell” on here? I don’t know but I just did.)

I’m not sure why I have such a difficult time with this exam – more difficulty than most people, it seems. Honestly, I’ve never really had difficulty with anything in my short 23 (soon to be 24) years of living. Maybe that’s the answer in itself – the big man upstairs decided that I needed a good challenge (not sure if I can talk about that either). All I know is that all I do it work, eat, study, sleep and that there are not one but TWO empty Starbuck’s cups in my garbage can under my desk right now because I am so tired.

After having said all of that and feeling like my life is passing me by along with fun times and missed opportunities  (insert sad emoticon here), the fact remains that I am not a quitter and I’ll be damned if I don’t (eventually) pass this test. I say “eventually” because I am not going to beat myself up if I end up getting less than a 75 come Friday (or Monday or whenever these horror-provoking results are released). Maybe I will pass and this whole rant post will be for nothing. I guess I’ll have to let you know either way.

Lauryn